Things You Probably Already Knew

Photo credit: Alice Zhao

I’m a writer. I don’t know what it “means” to be a writer, but I guess I enjoy  a lot of things that writers do, like drinking Scotch and wearing nerdy glasses and arguing about pants. I also like robots, but I don’t really care about how they work. Also, it used to bother me that in movies spaceships made sounds when they WHOOSHED by the camera. Not so much anymore.

Some random and probably essential facts you might not have known about me:

1. When I was five I wrote a 12-page play titled “The Mouse Trap” about three mice outsmarting a cat. I directed and starred in the production, which was staged in my attic to an audience of local parents (who were served popcorn and coffee). Despite the critical success, it was my last attempt at being a playwright.

2. I love to cook, and I love to eat. Yet, for reasons that will forever remain mysterious to me (and frustrating to Alice), I don’t enjoy eating at parties or other social events. So please put away those delicious shrimp rings, hosts and hostesses, for they will go a-wasted on yours truly.

3. At the age of 15, on a family vacation to Sanibel Island in Florida, I was attacked by an alligator. It was my own fault — I was out in the swamps alone taking telephoto closeups of their eyes. In the process of the attack, I dropped a new and expensive lens, and promptly ran about 5 miles home without stopping. I was so embarrassed that I refused to tell anyone for 10 years.

4. I walk more than anyone else I know. Little of this walking takes place out of doors. This is because I am a pacer. I read, write, and edit much of my work while striding briskly from my office, through the hallway, to the living room and back. I estimate I walk about four hours a day, not including leaving the house for errands or other activities.

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If you’ve read this far, you must be a super-interesting and attractive person. Check out my LinkdIn profile and hire me to write for you!


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